The first time I saw Tucker, many hours after he was born, I reached into the port holes and pressed my finger to the thin palm of his hand. He slowly wrapped his rice-sized fingers around. His fingers couldn't fully wrap to come close to touching. The only thing pulsing through my mind and bleeding from my heart was this, "Lord. Please let him live. Whatever the cost." Over the months to come, Darrin and I repeated that same prayer together and separately literally hundreds of times. I ... View the Post
Pumpkin Pancakes Can Fix It
Fall is ringing the doorbell at our house. Bought a mum last weekend (as it gave a sad, knowing look to his friends when I put it in the cart). It's barely hanging on, perched on my front porch, also known as the place where plants go to die. But I love fall, so I'll buy another one today and probably at least one more before Halloween. The last two years fall brought with it the dreaded isolation, but not this fall. We're free. To enjoy fall festivals, go trick or treating, find pumpkins on a ... View the Post
I Packed A Bag
When will I stop packing a bag? I threw it together in 4 minutes. It sat in the backseat. A change of clothes, 2 sets of Tucker's pj's. His favorite books, some toys and of course, his sidekick Snoopy. I had just gotten off the phone with the pediatrician, "Yes", she'd said, "I want to see him.". My message to the triage nurse had gone something like this: "Hi, this is Tucker's mom, he sees Dr So and So. He's a former 24 weeker. He's had a cold for 5 days. It's not getting better. I listen to ... View the Post
The Other Side
"There are moments that mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is now divided into two parts, "Before this." and "After this." -Author unknown We're 30 days and counting. Isolation is technically over on April 1st in our region. For a micro preemie, typically 2 seasons of isolation is the recommendation and so this will be the last for us. As we approach the breakout date, I find my brain and heart full of thoughts. Tucker came home from the hospital ... View the Post