When Tucker was born, he was so small and so fragile it was really unbelievable that this was our baby. We watched him day in and day out do the things that most babies do inside the womb. His eyes were fused shut. We got to see them open-first his right and a few days later, his left. His movements were jerky and uncoordinated-I should have been feeling these twitches and spastic kicks inside my tummy. But we watched as his nervous system developed and his movements became more and more easy. It was a peek inside that most parents don’t ever get-aside from an occasional ultrasound. Had it not been so scary, it would have been kind of cool. Maybe one day, I’ll look back and see it from that perspective. It’s a little too fresh right now-I still wish Tucker hadn’t had such a hard start-it was hard to watch him struggle.
Babies that small and premature, obviously don’t smile yet. Tucker fought hard every day. He got tired-a lot. He wasn’t happy, no baby could be. They should be blissfully hanging out in the dark, warm confines of their mama’s tummy. Instead, their bodies are being forced to do things it’s not ready to do. There are lights. And alarms. And pokes. And xrays. And echocardiagrams. And head ultrasounds. And. And. And. Oh how the list goes on.
So I remember well, one day midway through our NICU stay, that Tucker had had a rough day and so had mama and daddy. I remember thinking-“Lord, I just want him to be happy. I want him to experience joy. He struggles every. single. day. Will he ever get a day just to be happy? To smile and laugh like other babies?”
Well yes. Yes, he will. Tucker has found joy. And I have another answered prayer to add to the list. Thank you Lord. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. One of the most joyful noises I have ever heard…
Take a look: Make a Joyful Noise!
We have had a good week. Tucker had his follow up hearing exam last Monday. The doctor asked that we try and make him sleepy but not asleep for the visit. Um Really? Is she for real? Tucker does exactly what he wants. When he wants to do it. He cares not one bit about our silly little doctor’s visit. Or the suggestion that we try and make him semi-sleepy but all the way asleep. So, he was asleep when we arrived. Amazing. But he awoke pretty much as soon as we went in the room for the test. Suckers. She was able to do 3 other tests though and they looked ok for now. Tucker has several risk factors for hearing loss-1. His severe prematurity 2. There were 2 antibiotics he took in the NICU for 48 hours that increase his risk for hearing loss (but they saved his life..so we’ll take it) and 3. His time on the ventilator. For now, though-all looks as it should. We’ll go back every few months until he’s 3. Sigh.
Also, we have a prayer request. We realized when we went to the lung doc a few weeks ago that Tucker hadn’t gained weight in about 3 weeks. Very unlike him. So we took him to his pediatrician and she upped the calories in his feeds and we went back a week later to see if he had gained. He had not. So…we’re headed to GI doc tomorrow to see what we can do. Obviously, Tucker needs to gain weight to thrive. So please pray that he would begin to put on the pounds again.
Hope you’ve had a great week and weekend. We’re gearing up for the big Halloween costume photo shoot. Tucker is beside himself with excitement.
Love Team Hucks
“Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” Psalm 126:2
Lindsay says
Ok, you have the cutest blog! Love it. And love him. That video was just precious. Go Tucker!