She runs this household. Make no mistake, her presence is not quiet or unassuming and abso-dang-lutely not withering. These months of moving into toddler-hood have strengthened her strong will and persistence to a degree that tries my barely-there sanity. She will zero to rage scream in .2 seconds. "They" say the tenacity she has will serve her well as an adult. One day I'll be thankful for that. But not today. Not in this Target checkout. While I'm kidding(?), the fact is- her scrappy pants ... View the Post
I Get To Be
I get to be her mom. It's been 10 months. (Sidebar-I'll pay you $1000 to tranquilize the minion that runs the second hand around the clock so fast-THIS IS NOT THE AMAZING RACE for crying out loud). She's a bit of a diva, our sturdy little dark haired beauty. Last Mother's Day,we were 7 weeks from her due date and my ping pong ball mind was bouncing on each side of the table between cautious optimism and this-might-really-freaking-happen. Those months before her birth were a nervous, ... View the Post
Along Came Molly. Part 1
January. We let it sink in. The decision we'd just made. The words we'd just spoken had been thrown about in our own heads, wrestled to exhaustion more and more often over the last year. But they'd never been uttered aloud with any finality. That they were finally pulled forth from our heads and tumbled out audibly- with intention-was a sign that it was time for the conversation. "I'm ready to think about when we should stop." "It's probably time. It shouldn't be this ridiculously hard. ... View the Post
There’s no crying at Disney.
There. Somewhere between Adventureland and Fantasyland, after my stroller ninja husband skillfully navigated through gigantic mouse ear balloons, super happy $20-a-picture photographers and mini princesses, I welled up for the first time. I looked ridiculous in my"You Make Me Blush" Bashful Dwarf tshirt, standing in line with our Fast Pass (they are real and awesome) for the Flying Dumbos, my eyes tearing up. It happened again in the Lion King show. And again on the Animal Kingdom safari. The ... View the Post
39 and holding
39. Today. I know it's my birthday because I just finished leftover 7 layer chocolate cake for breakfast (or it's just Tuesday). Truthfully and openly, it's the first birthday number to give me angst. Leading up to this day, the beginning of the end of my 30's, only a small part of my trepidation is about feeling old. Am I really about to become a mom for the second time at almost 40? Mostly what takes up my mind space about having only 364 days left in thirtysomething is that IT is still a ... View the Post
The Cost
The first time I saw Tucker, many hours after he was born, I reached into the port holes and pressed my finger to the thin palm of his hand. He slowly wrapped his rice-sized fingers around. His fingers couldn't fully wrap to come close to touching. The only thing pulsing through my mind and bleeding from my heart was this, "Lord. Please let him live. Whatever the cost." Over the months to come, Darrin and I repeated that same prayer together and separately literally hundreds of times. I ... View the Post
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