Since the day we came home, he has slept huddled in the left hand corner of the crib. Face tucked and pressed into the tiniest corner side slats as close as he can possibly get. His nose, mouth and ears protected and completely covered by the massive shell of Biscuit. His stuffed sea turtle. I don't understand how he can stand to have his whole face smothered, but as soon as I think of taking away the stuffed creature, I can't. I always wonder if he does it because for months he lived and ... View the Post
The Cost
The first time I saw Tucker, many hours after he was born, I reached into the port holes and pressed my finger to the thin palm of his hand. He slowly wrapped his rice-sized fingers around. His fingers couldn't fully wrap to come close to touching. The only thing pulsing through my mind and bleeding from my heart was this, "Lord. Please let him live. Whatever the cost." Over the months to come, Darrin and I repeated that same prayer together and separately literally hundreds of times. I ... View the Post
Yes, Tucker. There is a Santa. He lives at the race track.
It's our first winter season out of isolation. And it's kicking us in the teeth. Between the three of us, we've been sick since Halloween and it's been rough on the littlest Hucks. We were vigilant the first 2 isolation seasons with the hand sanitizer, Clorox wipedowns and protecting the bubble. It was super hard, but it worked. I can count on one hand the number of times Tucker got sick in his first two years of life-and that is flat amazing. I thought the magical year 3 would be great! ... View the Post
Pumpkin Pancakes Can Fix It
Fall is ringing the doorbell at our house. Bought a mum last weekend (as it gave a sad, knowing look to his friends when I put it in the cart). It's barely hanging on, perched on my front porch, also known as the place where plants go to die. But I love fall, so I'll buy another one today and probably at least one more before Halloween. The last two years fall brought with it the dreaded isolation, but not this fall. We're free. To enjoy fall festivals, go trick or treating, find pumpkins on a ... View the Post
He Sings.
So much about Tucker's future development was unknown when we brought him home from the NICU 2 years ago. The odds for a 24 weeker were not wholly in his favor in that regard. So each milestone kinda feels like Christmas morning. A gift we weren't sure we would open. One for which we are humbly and fully grateful. There are preemie moms and dads waking up every morning hoping this will be the day their kiddo takes a step. That this will be the day they hear his voice. That this will be the day ... View the Post
The First Time
We rounded the corner after scrubbing in for the obligatory 3 minutes. As we neared the fourth pod, I saw that the neonatologist was sitting on a stool right beside Tucker’s isolette. We were only 4 days new to the NICU experience. But I knew enough to know that if the neonatologist was camped out at our isolette, it probably wasn't good news. We walked up and I peered in at the teeny 1 pounder. The impossibly small human behind the plexiglass was jerking his twig thin leg, in an unnatural ... View the Post
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