Infertility and Miscarriage

Family Matters· Heart Talk· Infertility and Miscarriage· MVP Awards

To You

Today is Mother's Day. The day brings all kinds of feelings for all kinds of circumstances. So this. Is for you. To the mothers for whom today was a special day. The ones who, tonight, lay your head on the pillow, full up with love. To the moms who celebrated this day for the first time. To the mothers in waiting who long for a baby. To the moms who are doing parenthood solo, without a partner to recognize you on this day. To the moms who have had to say goodbye. The ones for whom this day ... View the Post

Heart Talk· Infertility and Miscarriage· Preemie Stuff

A Complaint. About Complainers.

I'd like to issue a small complaint. About complainers. If you've read this blog for very long, you know that I back away from doing public service announcements. I try not to post "Don't Do This" or "Things You Shouldn't Say" lists. Mostly because, ahem. I've done it or said it. Soap boxes are slippery that way. I've been insensitive. I've opened my mouth without thinking. I've uttered the completely wrong sentiment to someone who is going through something of which I have no understanding. ... View the Post

Heart Talk· Infertility and Miscarriage· Preemie Stuff

Lifting the Veil

I knew. In my heart (the one that was beating out of my chest) I knew. It was when she didn't turn on the TV immediately that I began to hold my breath. She was supposed to turn it on so we could see. But when she didn't, I knew there was a problem. We had been there two weeks earlier and the ultrasound technician had almost immediately turned on the TV. The screen lit up with a tiny blob, and more importantly she pointed out a smaller visibly pulsating...heart. It was beating happily, the ... View the Post

Heart Talk· Infertility and Miscarriage· Preemie Stuff

Letting Go. With Grace.

I will never be a country music singer (which really is a shame, I have a great name for it). I will never be a size 4. I will never get my PhD. And I will never carry a pregnancy 40 weeks and give birth to a healthy baby. There is a quote I saw recently that goes something like this: "At the end of your life, it will matter how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." Hmm. Letting go of things not meant for me. Things desperately wanted. Things prayed for. Good things that are ... View the Post

Heart Talk· Infertility and Miscarriage

Crying in the bathroom

There is a great writer, Shana Niequist (http://www.shaunaniequist.com/), who in her book, Bittersweet, writes a chapter about crying in the bathroom. There are two different reasons women are found crying in the bathroom. One woman is crying because there is a second line on the pregnancy test stick. The other is crying because there is not. I belonged in that second group. It is a lonely, highly sensitive road, the road of infertility. One you never, ever wanted to travel. And one for which ... View the Post

Infertility and Miscarriage· Milestones· Preemie Stuff

One Day

We have some friends who throw a Halloween party every year. Sweets. Kids in adorable costumes. Chili. These people throw a good party-you don't want to miss it. And you don't want to miss the dessert table. 2 years ago, Darrin and I went to the party armed with some Nutter Butter cookies dipped in white chocolate to look like ghosts (clever yes?) and a cupcake carrier full of peanut butter chocolate cupcakes (no. that part really isn't integral to my story but I always want to know, in detail, ... View the Post